results day

I haven't blogged for ages, haven't had anything great to say,  and when i was younger mum said in that case its best to say nothing!
I don't want to be a  misery but the waiting is terrible , I really cant cant handle the waiting! I m not this patient!
Had my bloods today, hopefully they are all ok for tomorrow, I should be having chemo tomorrow as well as seeing the prof in the clinic with the results of Mondays PET scan,
everyone keep their fingers crossed for some good news, we really could do with some happy news, life has been full of misery at the moment, not just for me, but for my friends too, all with their own worries. I didn't realise life was this cruel.
I cant stop looking at peoples hair when i am out, I have hair envy, not just the good hair anymore, any hair would be a bonus at the moment! its cold having a bald head and not all the hair has fallen out so its in between which is just annoying! , its a bit like the hamlet advert, hair around the sides but none on top! the monk look, maybe it will catch on, I should style it out and show it off! not!
Not knowing what tomorrow holds makes me feel like I m on hold, on hold with my life, and the family and Lottie, after tomorrow we can plan more things, know what the next few weeks hold, at the moment it could be more chemo or radiotherapy or even a different type of chemo, I do hate not being in control! not that I m bossy or anything! :-)