update

I haven't been on here since I found out I was in remission, its been 28 days , and still counting

its not been the party high I thought it would be

much harder than expected, a roller coaster of up and downs, and if I'm honest, mostly downs.

I don't really think it sunk in for a while and with the final chemo looming it wasn't over, so i felt there was nothing to celebrate.and so many questions, would it return, the long road to recovery still ahead

then we went on holiday, which was brilliant, but I was tried and found it hard, I tried to put a brave face on, but i was totally shattered and slept so much when we came home.

wouldn't have missed it for the world. holiday with the people I love most. what more could you want.

Last chemo was Monday 11th July , 5 months to the day this journey started. since we found out the bad news. but we won, i know I said I would but no was more surprised than me to have actually won! this last chemo has been the hardest, knowing what to expect and it getting harder each time, feeling more sick than ever, and more tired but I'm holding on to the thought i don't have to do this again( unless Lenny comes back) if he does we can cross that bridge when we come to it. its not likely but if I can stay in remission for two years the chances of him never returning get even higher, not sure I can count for two years! that seems a very long time !

My Hair is growing back, although its grey and resembles the action man look ! when it grows a bit more I can colour it and in a few months perhaps even get a "style" rather than the grey fuzz look I'm currently sporting.

I have to say a huge thank you to my great family, always supporting me, lifting my spirits through the hardest times I hope I ever have to encounter. And what amazing friends too, really wouldn't have made it here without you all.

I'm looking forward to getting my life back, but I can hardly remember what it was like not to be ill. tired or to cry most days. I know I was happy, and I know I can get back to it once I have recovered.