round 6 nearly there or 3/4 way through

Round 6 tomorrow, cant quite believe I've had 5 nearly six cycles of this chemo. its taking its tole one me, I have to admit defeat there, I will never say I m tired again, well not say it and really mean it, because you don't know tired like this, its not nice, fun or remotely what I want to feel like at 31. feel more like 101

Lottie has been a star all week, love her too much to say. she keeps me going, without her I think I may have given up by now.

Nice letter with details of centre parcs holiday has made our week, nice family holiday for me Keith and Lottie in august, cant wait for it, maybe I ll be clear then, cancer free as such, no More chemo for sure as can only have 8 , it may still be going on, radiotherapy, stem cell treatment, but I m not going to think about those unless I really have to.

I like to think I will be free, free to have fun and enjoy ourselves, already thinking about what to take! and praying for a glorious 4 days of sunshine.

I have to have a little rant, about people moaning about trivial things, just stop and be grateful, think about what u have not what u need, 

what you want ,  

what you don't have,  

etc etc, moan moan moan,

I may have to stop going on face book as it mostly rages me at the moment.

If you read this do a favour for me and take a minute to think about all the things that are good for you

 being ill over shadows them all as you need one thing first, your health, even though I dont have the most important thing I can see that I have so many good things,

the nothing can take them away but not ruin them for me, only loan them for a short time,

I will have them back thanks!

I only have one wish to be healthy, something everyone takes for granted . I used to moan don't get me wrong but its frustrating seeing it for me, one thing cancer has taught me, be grateful for everything you have , I always had the glass is half full attitude and wish everyone did. ........ there rant over, feel bit better for that!

now more ppositive thing or else I ll be one of the misery's and that would be worse than having cancer!

off to pick grandad up, off for our pre chemo tradition of dinner with mum dad and mand, off to mands and maybe the pub if the weather holds out, its like my last supper before I have no appetite and things taste all wrong, I wont miss that when this is all over, " the nothing " will be soon long gone, and he can take all the nasty side effects with him. :-)