The FEAR good fear, FOR EVERYTHING A REASON!

Sunday27.02.2011 6.15am, captains log. Hours of isolation driving me crazy, may have to cause a scene like Hilda today just for the fun of it! Its bit like prison, keep my things tidy can’t control what I eat or drink, but it’s all for my own benefit and I don’t want to complain only look forward to getting home to my little Merryweather, wonder how she is this morning.

Good news story today, time to celebrate a whole night’s sleep, only just woken up, I consider that a victory, stick that Lenny, i m sleeping again!  And through shouting coughing and general loud odd noises from the ward outside! Think the chemo side effect of being seriously tired is kicking in, yesterday was thinking what can I do when I get home, now thinking I just want my bed and to sleep ready for Round two of the big fight next week! Need to rest those little neutrophils!

One job is high on my list, MY HAIR, its coming out, like when you wash it and some falls out, but this time more than you would like to see on your pillow or in your sink, so time to shave it when I get home maybe, or hang onto it for a big longer and style is out with a few headbands! Good job I have a lot of hair to come out!

Really need to get another wig before any clippers are taken out of their box ! Keith can shave it, does his own hair all the time, he’s a professional as Nan says ! Off to the shop when get home then bed, it’s a deal! Oh and a new case for hospital, can’t borrow Mandy’s forever and seen a fab one with camper vans on it! Oh and some new music for my ipod and then maybe I will rest

Keep thinking about our holiday booked for July, found some picutres from last year on mums laptop! Hope its as nice as last year , we can make it extra special this year and I ll have a new collection of hats for the beach!

Theme tune is set for the day Ian Brown THE FEAR – this is my phones ringtone ! amazing song! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9wue5sCpuM

Ian Brown - F.E.A.R.

F.E.A.R.

For each a road
For everyman a religion
Find everybody and rule
For everything and rumble
Forget everything and remember
For everything a reason
Forgive everybody and remember

For each a road
For everyman a religion
Face everybody and rule
For everything and rumble
Forget everything and remember
For everything a reason

You got the fear
You got the fear
You got the fear
You got the fear
You got the fear
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)

Final eternity arouses reactions
Freeing excellence affects reality
Fallen empires are ruling
Find earth and reef

Fantastic expectations
Amazing revelations
Final execution and resurrection
Free expression as revolution
Finding everything and realizing

You got the fear
You got the fear
You got the fear
You got the fear
You got the fear
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)

(Fantastic expectations
Amazing revelations
Finding everything and realizing
For everything a reason)

F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
F.E.A.R. (You got the fear)
You got the fear
You got the fear
You got the fear
You got the fear

PERFECT!

FOR EVERYTHING A REASON, FANTASTIC EXPECTATIONS
AMAZING REVELATIONS

I can listen to more calm songs today must be feeling more calm, slow/sad songs were not helping another triumph today, stick that Lenny, 2:0 to me!

Keith coming this morning and Tracey this afternoon and then Mandy and Mum, and then maybe just maybe home, or maybe one more night! At hotel Lister, got a list of questions when that doctor comes round! They must hate coming into my room!

More info before Chemo next week for my fund raising, few more jobs to do but then the just giving pages will be set up, need to speak to my committee first about setting targets etc watch this space!